God is in the Midst of Her

It is one of my favorite verses in my favorite book.... I got the idea to fondly refer to it as love letters to meeh... but the real name is simply the Holy Bible. And so if one was to rummage through the frail (and worn if we are referring to mine own) pages to the Book of Psalms, chapter 45 your eyes would immediately be pulled into that omnipresent "G" and after a few seconds you notice that there are other letters following... and the word is God.... I just thought of it. Why is it that I am so drawn to that G... every chapter starts with a huge letter but those letters always seem to cower in the presence of the G... and vanish after God... hmmm. will have to think on that a little bit more... for now I digress.

God is our refuge. Yes, that is the first half of the first sentence. I have probably spent 24 and a half years of my life running from one thing or the other... of course NO ONE knows this. Sillie folks think I am something like iron woman... YES I am the one who made them think that, but we all have to shield ourselves right?!?!?! When you hesitate to let others in, they hesitate to be there.... oh these two way streets! Who came up with those things. Well it goes on to say God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I like to keep that in mind. My trouble is /has not always been some outside force. My mind is quite active. I think I have caused myself a good bit of it all. BUT DONT QUOTE MEEH ON THAT.. I will deny it any chance I get!!!!

Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.

Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the Most High.

*God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: He uttered His voice, the earth melted.

The Lord of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our refuge.* PS 46:2-7

The waters surrounding meeh are swelling over. My protective barriers are rendered now moot. It is not so easy to fathom what all the really means. These are the times when my knees grow weak and I cannot so easily pray for myself... Saints pray for meeh. But in all of that, the troubled waters my mind duplicitously guide meeh to.... when I feel myself swallowed whole and shaking in the belly of that mighty whale.... when my rivers overflow and I begin to lose myself, forget who I am and believe in the lie passed down from Satan to Eve... I see that GINORMOUS "G".... God is my refuge.

You spend so much time praying for others, thinking of others, worrying for others and you forget that dwarfish word that begins CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME... how can I pray for others if I cannot pray for myself.

And so because I am everywhere but where I ought to be, the whale swallows me and my claustrophobia sets in and all I hear is GOD IS IN THE MIDST OF HER.... its especially meaningful because I am a female and so I have convinced myself that it was supposed to say GOD is in the midst of MEEH/MITCH/YELLY/BIGHEAD/DANIELLE-MICHELE... all versions of yours truly of course!!!

He is in the midst of meeh and my issues with self with others within and without. I dont need to hold piglet so tight I practically suffocate him when I cannot sleep at night... that does not help meeh to fall into that beautiful abyss I miss so... and that might be a good thing because had piglet been a real person Id have caught a case already!! God is good.... .smiles.

I need you Father the way I never thought I needed you before. I have confessed my sins and asked forgiveness. I suppose now is when I forgive myself and allow you to forgive chasten and work on meeh. I feel like you have been chastening meeh for the past.... hmmm... my whole life!!! I have but a simple favor to ask....

Simply utter your voice.... the way you said peace be still and the way you calmed the storm... silence the heathen Father that rages about meeh.

The God of Jacob, before you called him to be Israel, be with meeh.... In the midst of all my sin and immaturity... The God of meeh... The God of Danielle Michele BE WITH MEEH.... utter those words Lord you are my peace. Ill be still for you... I am trying to learn what you are teaching meeh, perhaps I am not still enough. I have already surrendered my heart... take over my mind.... its a mess in there... fair warning.... Utter your voice and be with meeh... my refuge